An Open Book
by kreoff210
Summary: There's a part of him seeking and desperately needing to open up, but that's strange because he's an open book. A Remus Lupin Story, description: song lyric by Blue October, Includes year one
1. Fear

He had falling asleep with his face in a book. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. The eleven year old loved to read. He had taught himself how when he was around three and half, four. Even after his, "misfortune", a month before his fifth birthday, he still read. It was the one thing that made him feel more...human, even if he did not understand why. He could sit for hours at an end, when his mother was at work or out shopping, and devour one delicious tale after the other.

He knew how to do many things. Cooking, cleaning, sewing, and even how to dance. His mother had taught him every thing she had learned as a child to keep his mind off other matters that should not have to bother some one of his age. He loved that woman. And all he had done for her is made her life miserable.

Once a week he was presented with a new hardcover from his mother. She worked at Flourish and Blotts in Diagon Alley. Giving her free range to take home any book that was deemed "abnormal" to the manager, who would pull them off the shelves. Now, most books have good reasons not to be sold. Not just because of a ruined cover, or double prints of the same page.

Once his mother brought home a lovely tale called, Village by the Sea. And when you opened the book directly onto page ninety-six, molten lava would spew out of the bindings. The young man still had scorch marks on his finger tips till this day. He figured the saying was true, "Not every book, was meant to be read."

"Remus, darling." Came the sweet sound of his mother's voice. It was summoning him to wake, but his eyelids felt glued shut. "Sweetheart, wake up. There is some one here to see you."

The ten year old groaned in his half-sleep, and clung to his pillow tighter. He really did not want to be woken, for some strange reason he was having a wonderful dream. He had friends. Friends that did not fear what he became once a month. They loved him for him, and that brought tears to his deep blue eyes.

"Sweetheart, are you crying?" His mother cleaned his streaked cheeks.

"No." The boy mustered, lightly pushing his mother's warm touch away as he sat up. "Is some one really here to see me?" The pale boy asked, avoiding the hiding look of hurt in his mother's crystal eyes.

"Yes," She smiled, "there is."

Before Mrs. Lupin had a chance to say another word, a tall man with a long whiting beard, that reached to end of his torso, ducked through the door frame to Remus' room. "I'm sorry to have wakened you, Mr. Lupin, but I am sure you will enjoy hearing the news I have come to bestow upon you." The man's eyes twinkled beneath his half-moon spectacles.

Remus knew at once who the other was; Albus Dumbledore new headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But this didn't make sense, even though he was still half-asleep. Why would this Professor be here of all places? He must know what the boy was... And just as he opened his mouth to say what he thought, Professor Dumbledore began his speech.

"As you are most likely aware, Mr. Lupin. You are a wizard. And like any witch or wizard before you, they have learned to develop their skills at an establishment such as the one I am offering you to attend; Hogwarts."

Remus was use to keeping secrets. The ability allowed him to master a straight face when put into shocking, uncomfortable situations, but this one took the cake. Was this man daft? How could he stand there and offer a werewolf a place at his school...a chance to be normal; an equal?

No, Remus told himself, his legs now dangling over the side of his bed. This was still part of his dream. He was still unconscious. He needed to wake up; for this was truly a nightmare.

"I assure you, Mr. Lupin, I am not as unbalanced as I might seem." The man smiled, taking in the troubled look of the youth.

"I would never think such a thing, sir! You are a grand wizard; legendary. And I doubt any one at your high status would have gotten there, had they been a loon."

"You would be surprised, Mr. Lupin." Those blue eyes sparkled again in amusement. "However, I think that discussion is for another time and place. Would you not agree?" Remus stared dumb-founded at his guest. "We are here, after all, to converse about your future. Not those who have come or gone." This remark caused Remus to stare at his bare feet, as the Professor cleared his throat and continued. "Hogwarts has been home to many great witch and wizard, regardless of their place in our world. All that is needed is a curious, and willing mind. And I assume you are more than willing, Mr. Lupin."

The boy never removed his eyes from his feet, but nodded all the same. He could sense the excitement and fear from his mother. She had accepted a long time ago that her son might not get the education she had received, but still had not given up hope. She believed that as long as there were people in this world like Albus Dumbledore, there would always be hope. So, when the words that escaped her son's lips reached her ears, the fear doubled in amount. "Thank you, Professor, but no thank you."

"Of course, Mr. Lupin. Attending Hogwarts is entirely your choice." Ablus answered, not even the hint of disappoint or an inch of persuasion in his voice. "No one can decide for you, but may I ask why?"

Remus knew the answer to be obvious, but he still did not want to put it into words. He wished this man would just take the 'no thanks' and leave. He did not need to be tortured like this with a false hope, and it angered him. The emotion flooded through him, and, although, he tried to hide it, a hint of the feeling slipped out with his words. "I find nothing amusing, about an ten year old werewolf, breaking free on the school grounds. Or at being the main focus on some cruel, sick joke to see how many students I'll be able to claim within one night. And I, with out any doubt, will not allow myself to be chained and bound in a dank dungeon like some vile creature every person makes me out to be. I thank you for your offer, but no thank you all the same."

Remus was unable to read the Professor's face as his words left the air of the small room. "Fear." He stated. "And the underlining courage needed to recognize that fear is one of the main reasons we tend not to venture into the unknown. However, since you have until the thirty first of July, I will leave this with you. And you can respond via owl, with your decline."

Staring at the large envelope handed to him; Remus could only mumble a 'thank you', before Albus Dumbledore took his leave.


	2. Lies

_Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling's characters, not mine._

Chapter two- Lies

Soon after the Professor's departure, Remus found himself with a wet mark on his forehead, a promise from his mother that she would be home around nine, and the pleading words to be nice to Madam Glee when she arrived; for his mother was late for work.

Remus snorted, as he snapped back to reality. He wiped the spit from his head with the back of his hand. How on Earth was he supposed to be _nice_ to Madam Glee? Her name is a complete oxymoron to what her presence to the world displayed. And as much as she pretended in front of his mother, Remus knew she didn't care one lick about him, and it wasn't like he cared. The wench could...

"Remus?" Came Madam Glee's cheerful voice from the kitchen. '_Where is that brat?_' Was said under her breath as she walked toward his room.

Said brat glanced at his bedroom door with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He then cast one last hopeful look at the envelope in his small sweaty hands before hiding it under his mattress and disappearing himself just as the door to his room swung open to reveal a plump woman in her late forties with mud colored eyes and just as dirty hair tied neatly into a bun on the top of her egg shaped head.

Now is when the fun begins, Remus silently laughed as he army crawled his way through the small ventilation system. Being small had its advantages, as well as its set backs, but when it came to making a one Margaret Glee feel like a complete idiot, he was all too happy about the lack of height and weight.

It started a year ago, now don't get the kid wrong, Remus was a nice well behaved child; when the right person was present. Madam Glee screamed to be tortured. And who was Remus John Lupin not to answer the pleads? He began with hiding under his bed, grabbing at her ankles when she least expected it; although, no one expects an overly intelligent nine year old to grab at their ankles on their first day of work. Slowly Glee caught on, but not soon enough, Remus had shifted his tactics. Ducking in the closet, burying himself in piles of dirty laundry, he even hung from the ceiling one time; do not ask how he managed that one, but the look on Glee's face when he landed on the top of her head, a Roman war cry escaping his lips, was priceless!

At this moment Madam Glee was no doubt pulling her superior knowledge over the tiny tyrant, by yanking up the bed sheets and yelling in triumph as she discovered air! Remus muffled his amusement as he landed silently onto the tiled kitchen floor. He then proceeded to the bread box for a piece of the French bread his mother had made two days earlier, and plopped down into one of the wood chairs at the table, after pouring himself some milk.

The ten year old was almost finished with his breakfast when a disgruntled Madam Glee showed up in the kitchen. She had a slightly worried expression on her face, after her 20 minute search for her missing tenant. "Where the bloody hell is that brat?" She asked herself.

"You know, Madam. You should watch your language in front of small children. We might get bad ideas in our heads. What the bloody hell are you thinking?" Remus grinned at the shocked faced caretaker. "Also, it's not such a good idea getting caught speaking to ones self... It's not very becoming with some one of your age."

"You little!" Glee proclaimed, and thus began the day's morning exercise.

oOoOoOo

The second Mrs. Lupin appeared at the front door, arms full of grocery bags; Madam Glee was on her like a vulture. "I was not placed on this Earth to be made a fool of by some snot nosed infant."

"I..."

"If you do not show that _child_ how to act properly to his elders then you will just have to find yourself a new caretaker. For I will not tolerate him one more day! Good night."

Remus could not see Madam Glee's face from where he was standing, but he bet that that one vein on her forehead was bulging at the seams. The thought made him lose his balance and slide down to the floor in a fit of silent giggles. He had to give Glee her rights though; no one stuck around for more than three months. She had gone a year! Must have needed the money, the eleven year old concluded, as the tip of a black covered foot tapped in irritation at the corner of his vision.

"Allo, Mother. How was your day?"

"Remus." Was all his mother had to utter.

"I'm sorry, Mother." His deep blue eyes dropped to the wood floor beneath him. "It's just- I didn't mean- She doesn't even like me anyhow- I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart." Mrs. Lupin knelt beside her speech ridden son. "I understand, but couldn't you have just said something to me?"

Remus did not have the heart to tell his mother he had tried. "I should have. I'm sorry, Mother." He lifted his eyes from the ground and spotted three paper bags. "Let me take care of these."

The boy scurried to his feet and reached for the bags, but his mother's gentle touch on his own hand stopped him. "You did."

"Did what, Mother?"

"Try to tell me." This time her crystal eyes looked away. "But I've been too busy to pay much attention to you."

"No, Mother!" The boy exclaimed. "No."

"Lies do not become us, Remus." His mother recited, leaving the two in an awkward silence.

oOoOoOo

The sandy haired ten year old laid flat on his back, his legs hanging over the side of his bed at the knees, and stared up at the ceiling without actually looking at it. He could not kid himself. He wanted to go to Hogwarts. Every fiber in his body ached for the chance, but his mind was against him.

_What will you do when you are set loose on the grounds? How will you react when another victim lies dead before you? You think it is hard now? Wait until you're staring into the lifeless eyes of the helpless child you just slaughtered for no reason at all!_

"STOP IT!"

Mrs. Lupin burst into her son's room to see tears swelling up in his eyes. His hands trembled against his red puffy face as they balled into fists around the loose strands of hair. "Sweetheart." She tried to smooth his grip, but he did not hear her; chose not to listen to any of the voices.

"I WON'T GO!" He hollered to the bleach white walls. "I won't go... I won't feel like that again."

"Shh." His mother held him in her warm embrace. "Shh, it's all right sweetheart. You'll never have to feel that way again."

Anger set onto his twisted face of pain. _How would she know! She didn't know anything! No one understood. _The werewolf lashed out with his thoughts, pushing the older woman to the floor. "You know nothing about of what you claim!" He bellowed. "You know nothing, woman!"

"You're right." Her long pale brown hair fell into her face. "I know nothing."

"I will not kill any more! I will not be manipulated! Never again!"

"Never." She agreed. "But maybe, the school will help?"

The werewolf's eyes flashed at her as the light bulbs on his ceiling fan exploded into a million pieces.

That uncontrolled magic brought the boy to his senses, and tears began to fall in the darkness of the room. "I'm sorry." He collapsed onto the wood floor next to his mother. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right, sweetheart." She whispered into her son's ear as he crawled up into her arms. "Listen, love. Hogwarts can help you. They can teach you to control your power. To not fear what you are."

He seemed so small as he wiped his running nose with the back of his hand. "Really?"

"Yes." She tucked his bangs behind his ear. "Tomorrow is my day off, and we will go to Diagon Alley to purchase you a wand. You will go to Hogwarts, just like the best of them."

_Hope it was worth the wait. :O)_


End file.
